


Tetrad

by Magpie_Crow



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Can I get anymore obvious?, Curses, M/M, Made up witchcraft, Multi, Roman is a Witch, They'll all get together eventually, True Love's Kiss, Virgil is a Goth, Witches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 19:07:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29230479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magpie_Crow/pseuds/Magpie_Crow
Summary: Virgil sipped his tea, wondering why in the world he was still here. Other than morbid curiosity.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil/Creativity | Roman/Logic | Logan/Morality | Patton
Comments: 6
Kudos: 50





	Tetrad

**Author's Note:**

> I got a sudden influx of lovely comments and found myself able to love my art form again. 
> 
> I do not apologize for the blatant Avatar: The Last Airbender reference.

Virgil caught a glimpse of movement out of the corner of his eye, so he looked up from his dishes to watch what was going on across the street. His hot neighbor had exited his own house, swinging what looked like a pair of scissors, and began studiously attending to his rose bushes. 

Which was odd, because Hot Neighbor never did his own dirty work. Not unless-

Virgil’s doorbell rang and he cursed, drawing his hands from the soapy water. It wasn’t his fault that his house was the oldest on the block, nor was it truly his fault that the front yard was a little overgrown. He just had priorities, and the front lawn was not one of them. 

He flung the door open, relishing in the fact that his visitors flinched a little.

“Please, I implore you-“ one of them began, before Virgil raised a hand to silence him. 

“Wrong house, pal. The witch lives across the street.”

The two turned slowly to look at Hot Neighbor’s house, where Hot Neighbor had abandoned all pretenses of pruning his roses to wave merrily at the three of them. 

Virgil took a moment to inspect his visitors. Or were they Hot Neighbor’s visitors? He’d never thought to ask Hot Neighbor to clarify, not in the hundreds of times this exact scenario had occurred. The one who had spoken was tall and well-dressed, despite the knot in his tie looking hurried. He was supporting his companion, who leaned heavily on his shoulder. His companion was dressed hurriedly, and their shirt slipped just enough off their shoulder that Virgil could see dark zig-zagging lines running up his back. 

“Holy shit. Let me help you.” Virgil ducked underneath the person’s other arm, wrapping his own around their waist. “You look beat. Let’s get you over there and see what he can do.”

The man in the tie smiled gratefully at Virgil as his burden lightened, and the trio set off on a grand adventure across the cul-de-sac. 

Hot Neighbor looked more worried the closer they came, and as soon as they reached what Virgil had noted to be Hot Neighbor’s ‘boundary’, Hot Neighbor dashed up to them and reached out. 

Virgil idly noticed how Hot Neighbor’s muscles rippled beneath his elegant white shirt. He flushed and looked away.

“Goodness gracious! By all that is holy under Hera, you’ve been cursed!” Hot Neighbor gently nudged Virgil and the other man aside to sweep their burden off their feet. “Come in, come in. We dare not dawdle!”

He strode inside, carrying the apparently cursed person like something precious. Virgil heard the man in the tie gasp as the door opened of its own volition, but the man didn’t hesitate to walk into the house. Virgil did, unsure of his welcome, until Hot Neighbor’s voice rang out from inside.

“Come _in_! I’ll need to check if the curse is contagious. Do take that Odin-forsaken apron off at the door, though. There’s a coat-hanger handy.”

Virgil found himself going inside, self-consciously removing his apron as he did so. He didn’t think it was _that_ bad, he’d bought it because the artist had mistaken the Star of David for a pentagram. It was funny. The coat hanger seemed to beckon at him, and he stared at it suspiciously. 

“We haven’t got all day, Doom and Gloom!” 

He hung up his apron and continued inside, trying not to let it bother him that the door swung shut behind him.

The house wasn’t what he expected from a witch. It was light inside, and decorated sumptuously. He honestly expected Gomez or Morticia Addams to pop out of the nearest doorway to say hello.

Except. The house was relatively new, he’d been living in his own house long enough to see it built. The farther he went inside, the less it felt like the same size as the foundations he saw on the first day. 

Perhaps it was just his mind playing tricks on him. The hallway from the door opened up into a large living room like space, and there, on the couch, Hot Neighbor had placed the visitor. 

He’d also stripped them of their shirt, and was gently running his hands over the jagged black lines on their back. 

“Good,” said Hot Neighbor, “we’re all here. Let’s do introductions while I’m still thinking about it. I’m Roman, the witch.”

“My name is Logan, and they are Patton. Why are introductions necessary?”

Roman looked up from his ministrations. 

“Names have power, Logan. Also, I cannot keep referring to the three of you as ‘Sick but Hot’, ‘Hot Teacher’, and ‘Hot Goth’ for the rest of the day lest I lose my sanity.”

Virgil coughed out a startled laugh, and then flushed when three pairs of eyes turned to him.

“I- uh. I’m Virgil?”

Roman grinned and turned back to Patton. 

“There, now we’re all acquainted. I must ask, Patton, when did you start exhibiting symptoms? This seems to be fairly advanced.”

Logan opened his mouth to speak, but Roman raised a hand. 

“I asked Patton, thank you. And, Patton, I do need an honest answer from you in order to properly diagnose your symptoms.” 

Patton, despite the pallor of their face, flushed hotly. 

“T-three weeks.”

“You said it had only been a few days! Patton!” Logan looked incensed. 

Virgil supposed he had cause. 

“Three weeks to the day, or a rough estimation?” Roman seemed to be ignoring the fuming man behind him.

“Rough estimate, I- I could probably pinpoint the day?”

“No need. Did anything out of the ordinary happen on that day?”

Patton’s blush darkened, and he darted a look at Logan before resting their eyes back on Roman. They mumbled something before looking down at their hands. 

“Louder, darling. Face every challenge with courage and honesty.” Roman’s voice was gentle, but Virgil could see something rigid in the set of his shoulders.

“I went to a fortune-teller.” Patton’s voice was whisper soft, but it seemed to echo around the room, as if their shame was amplifying it. 

Logan made a dismissive noise in the back of his throat.

Roman turned then, and Virgil wondered if his eyes had always been that golden. 

“And yet you came to a witch instead of a hospital? You must believe _something_.” His eyes went back to honey-brown, and he turned again to Patton. This time he looked far more relaxed. 

“What did you ask of them, and what did you pay?”

Patton seemed to steel themselves before answering. “I paid in a family heirloom. My great-grandmother’s engagement ring. I asked-“ they paused, gaze flickering to Logan once again. “I asked if- if I would ever find my true love.”

Roman nodded and stood abruptly. 

“Thank you. I shall go forth immediately to look into the matter. Make yourselves comfortable, tea will be in shortly.” He vanished, leaving the three of them staring at empty space. 

Virgil chanced a glance at Logan, and was almost shocked by the look of absolute devastation on his face. Then he looked at Patton, who was decidedly _not_ looking at Logan, and something clicked. 

The room suddenly became very stifling. Virgil wanted to bolt, but found himself rooted to the spot. 

“Patton-“ Logan sounded breathless, and Virgil could only watch as the man strode forward and bent down, cupping Patton’s face and capturing their lips in a kiss. 

Yup. Definitely awkward. Virgil wanted nothing more than to leave, to get out, or to join in and- wait. Where did _that_ thought come from? Sure, Patton and Logan were both attractive, and PattonandLogan was definitely on Virgil’s list of top ten hottest things he’d ever seen, despite the awkwardness of the situation, but- Jeeze louise. 

Virgil made a mental note to get out more. 

The two at the couch broke apart, and Virgil suddenly found himself needing to look anywhere but at them. It wouldn’t do to be caught staring, that’s for sure.

Roman, who had either great timing or a disastrous one, chose that moment to reappear. 

“I found it!” His voice was sing-song and very proud of himself. “It’s an obscure curse, but with a fairly simple unbinding. True Love’s Kiss! A classic, let me tell you. Now, since you’re here and still cursed, that means that you’ve got more than one True Love, because I definitely saw chemistry between the two of you-“ a three legged table scuttled into the room, carrying a tea set with four cups. Roman paused to flick his finger, and Virgil found himself holding a cup of tea. “And with all the wards in my house how could I miss something as powerful as True Love’s Kiss happening inside of it? So drink your tea and then we’ll do a quick ritual to find out about your other soulmates and voila! You can kiss them and all will be well.” 

Virgil sipped his tea, wondering why in the world he was still here. Other than morbid curiosity. 

“Would they only be my True Loves? I wouldn’t want anyone to be left out.” One of Patton’s hands was firmly ensconced in one of Logan’s. 

“Oh,” Roman said airily, “the Fates find their ways. Hathor knows what will happen.”

“What if I don’t love them already? Would that really be true love?”

“True Love is True Love! It’s going to be True, whether it currently is or someday will be! Istustaya and Papaya weave unerringly.”

The four of them stayed in silence, then, sipping their tea. Virgil wondered who Istustaya was and what they had to do with tropical fruits, but didn’t voice his question. 

Patton slurped the last of their tea loudly, a mischievous twinkle in their eye. 

“So, Papaya.”

Logan groaned. “This is not the time for cartoon references, Patton.”

“Your brother thinks every time is a time for cartoon references, and he has a doctorate.”

“Do not bring Emile into this.” 

“Papaya and Istustaya are Hittite goddesses of destiny, if that’s what you were wondering.” Roman was smiling an odd sort of smile at Logan and Patton. Odd, and almost wistful?

Maybe that was just Virgil projecting. 

Maybe Virgil shouldn’t be such a gay mess over three men he just met. 

“Right then! Let’s get to the ritual.” A door that wasn’t there before opened, and Roman scooped Patton up and headed towards it. “You two can come if you’d like, it won’t hurt anything.”

Logan followed, clutching Patton’s discarded shirt as if it was a safety blanket. Virgil, either out of curiosity or plain stupidity, tagged along. It wasn’t like he had anything better to do. 

Well, lawn care, but that was something he would actively put off, so. Here he was.

The room they entered had a dark concrete floor and wood paneling on the walls. It also had what looked like hastily paint graffiti penises on the dark wood in green and yellow, and Roman sighed at the sight.

“Well, no time to clean that up right now, knowing my brother. We’ll just have to endure. Sit crisscross in the middle of the floor please, Patton.”

Patton did as they were told, and a small pouch floated into the room. Roman fished a piece of chalk out of it and drew a large circle on the ground around Patton. He used it to draw a few symbols as well, at the four cardinal points on the circle.

And then he pulled plants out of nowhere. 

“Yarrow in your left hand, oregano in your right, please.”

“Is there any pastability of Italian food after this?” Patton winked as they took the oregano. 

Roman laughed. “If you feel like staying, I’m sure that could be arranged. Doordash delivers, though, I cannot cook to save my life.”

“I can.” Virgil didn’t know what came over him that made him say anything. Well. Maybe he’d make new friends. Hot new friends.

The room went dark moments later, as Roman clapped his hands twice. Candles lit themselves in the five corners of the room, and the chalk circle caught on fire. 

Virgil felt something buzzing in the back of his mind, probably his fear of open flames, but he was too entranced by Roman to pay it any attention. 

The witch was dazzling and unearthly, lit by fire and with unnatural wind swirling around him. And then-

Virgil was _glowing_. He yelped and looked around, only to find Roman and Logan glowing as well. The fire in the room died, and they were still glowing. 

Roman laughed raucously. 

“Well, seems like that answers your question! Your True Loves are the three of us!”

Patton giggled, high pitched and nervous, and threw themselves at Roman, kissing him soundly. 

“Thank you! Thank you thank you thank you!”

Then they turned to Virgil, eyes gleaming. 

“Do you mind?”

Virgil gulped, and then shook his head. He found himself with an armful of Patton, and then lips were on his and it was almost magical.

Well, it was literally magical, as when Patton pulled away, their skin was free of the black curse mark that had marred it.

Logan coughed, breaking the strange silence. 

“I believe you mentioned Italian food?”

Well. There were worse ways to get to know people.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed! 
> 
> I set up a Discord server! <https://discord.gg/gtWgvQ4>  
> Join me to talk about my writing and stuff!
> 
> Find more on tumblr @we-are-fam-ily


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